Escape to Paradise: Puri Asri Bungalow, Indonesia Awaits!
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into a review of… well, let's just call it "The Place." And trust me, after spending a few days wrestling with their amenities, I've got Opinions. Buckle up, because this ain't your average shiny brochure.
(Disclaimer: My experience is, well, my experience. Yours might be different. And hey, maybe the place will be totally different tomorrow. Hotels, right?)
First Impressions and That All-Important Accessibility
First off, finding the place… a trip. GPS almost sent me into a ditch, but finally, there it was. Pretty impressive looking building, though. Accessibility, bless their hearts, is mostly there. Wheelchair Accessible? Yes, mostly. Ramps and elevators were present, but the occasional tight corner in the hallways. I'd give it a solid B. Facilities for Disabled Guests are listed…hopefully they'll actually cater to needs.
Right, now the good stuff: the internet. Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! YES! Huge win. But… Internet, Internet [LAN], Internet Services: Let's just say, the LAN felt like it was running on dial-up at times. Annoying. And the Wi-Fi in public areas? Predictably patchy. So, if you're dependent on the internet for work, pack a backup plan (and maybe a prayer book).
Cleanliness and Safety – Because, You Know, We Live in Interesting Times
Let's be real, post-pandemic, everyone's a little twitchy about cleanliness. Cleanliness and Safety is where the Place really shines, though. Anti-viral cleaning products? Check. Daily disinfection in common areas? Check. Professional-grade sanitizing services? Big check. They take this stuff seriously. Rooms sanitized between stays: Double-check. Room sanitization opt-out available? Good for those with sensitivities. They’re walking the walk. Felt safe.
Oh, and speaking of the pandemic… Hand sanitizer everywhere. Staff trained in safety protocol. Physical distancing of at least 1 meter (mostly obeyed). I saw a couple of tourists trying to ignore it, but otherwise, they managed it well. Individually-wrapped food options… appreciated. Safe dining setup? Yes. Sanitized kitchen and tableware items? Seemed so. Cashless payment service? Indeed. Felt like they actually cared about keeping folks safe.
The Relaxation Station: Spa, Pool, and All That Jazz
Okay, this is where the Place began to speak to me. I mean, Spa? Yes, please! I found myself in a total daze, honestly. Loved the Pool with a view, even if the view was partly blocked by some… um… construction. But the energy! The Sauna was heavenly, the Steamroom… steamy. I did a Body Scrub – felt brand new afterwards. Didn’t do a Body Wrap (too much commitment). And the Massage…oh, the massage. Honestly, it erased all the internet frustrations.
Regarding the Fitness Center: It existed. I didn't. Too busy with the spa. But hey, Gym/fitness is there for the ambitious.
Food, Glorious Food (and Drink!)
Alright, the stomach is a crucial part of the hotel experience. Dining, drinking, and snacking: Okay. Let's begin. The Asian breakfast was… well. Varied. The Buffet in restaurant was actually pretty decent, especially for the price. (And it was a buffet. But hey, I don’t mind that much anymore.)
Now about the fine print: you have the following options: A la carte in restaurant, Alternative meal arrangement, Asian cuisine in restaurant, Western cuisine in restaurant, Coffee/tea in restaurant, Coffee shop, Desserts in restaurant, International cuisine in restaurant, Poolside bar, Restaurants, Room service [24-hour], Salad in restaurant, Snack bar, Soup in restaurant, Vegetarian restaurant, Western breakfast. The Bar was… well-stocked. Happy hour? Yes. And the Bottle of water in the room? Always appreciated.
The food… it wasn't Michelin-star stuff, but mostly satisfying. They're definitely trying.
Rooms – Where You Actually Live
Let's talk Available in all rooms: the basics are there. Air conditioning? Thank god. Free Wi-Fi? Mostly thank god. Air conditioning? Yes. Alarm clock? Yes. Bathrobes and Slippers? Yes! (I lived in mine.) The Blackout curtains were a gift from the gods. The Coffee/tea maker was well-used. The Desk was functional. Hair dryer, High floor, Private bathroom, Refrigerator, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Smoke detector were all accounted for!
But here’s a confession. The extra-long bed was… really long. Like, the longest bed I’ve ever seen, and I'm not particularly short. It had me laughing at it. And the Internet access – wireless, as I said before, was questionable at times…
Services and Conveniences – The Stuff That Makes Life Easier (or Harder)
Okay, the little things matter too. Concierge? Helpful, mostly. Daily housekeeping? Yes, and the cleaning ladies were efficient and friendly. Luggage storage? Check. Dry cleaning, Ironing service, Laundry service? All present and correct.
Getting Around The Airport transfer was a lifesaver, and the Car park [on-site]? Free! The Taxi service was also available, but the Valet parking? I never saw it used. I did see a Car power charging station but I don't have an electric car to try it.
For the Kids (and the Kid in You)
I didn't come with kids, but I noted the Babysitting service. Family/child friendly? Yup. Kids meal available.
And The Rest… A Hodgepodge of Tidbits
- Access: CCTV in common areas, CCTV outside property… a bit Big Brother-ish, but hey, at least it feels secure, and security is 24-hour.
- Check-in/out [express] and Check-in/out [private] – both options available.
- Elevator? Yes.
- Non-smoking rooms? Yes.
- Pets allowed unavailable. (Sorry, Fido.)
- Safety/security feature, Fire extinguisher, Smoke alarms. The basics.
The Offer:
Tired of the Same Old Hotel Routine? Escape to "The Place," where you can truly relax, recharge, and reconnect.
Here's What Awaits You:
- Unwind: Pamper yourself with massages or soak in the sauna and steam room.
- Indulge: Savor delicious Asian and international cuisine, or enjoy a chill poolside bar.
- Stay Connected (Kinda): Free Wi-Fi in the rooms (with a safety net of LAN) so you can work or catch up on social media.
- Stay Safe: Experience top-notch cleanliness and safety protocols, including professional-grade sanitization, and hand sanitizers everywhere.
- Explore: A convenient location means you'll find everything you need nearby.
Book your stay at "The Place" today and get a complimentary body scrub, and a free breakfast!
(Offer ends soon. Don't miss out!)
Why "The Place?"
Look, this hotel isn't perfect, perfect, but it's got a soul. And who knows, a few years from now the hotel might be even better. It's a place that's trying, and it's doing a lot of things right, especially on the all-important chill aspect. It's a place where you can escape, relax. So, what are you waiting for? Book it!
Escape to Paradise: Ipe Hotel, Brazil's Hidden Gem
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because this isn't your polished travel brochure itinerary. This is the messy, real-deal, "I-hope-I-haven't-forgotten-my-toothbrush" version of my trip to Puri Asri Bungalow in Indonesia. Consider yourselves warned.
Puri Asri: Bali, But Make it… Me.
Day 1: The Arrival (and the near-disaster).
- Morning (Kinda): Flight landed! Hooray! Except… the luggage carousel was a torture. I was convinced my bag, the one with all my "essential" sarongs (read: I-look-good-in-them-and-that's-all-that-matters) and a year's supply of sunscreen, was gone forever. For a solid hour, I was a sweaty, panicked mess of a human, picturing myself burnt to a crisp and sarong-less. Then, poof, there it was! Victory dance in the Bali airport, obviously.
- Afternoon: Puri Asri! Check-in was smooth(ish). The front desk lady smiled, which I took as a good sign. Walked to my bungalow, which I had to make sure was the same as in the pictures - it kind of did. It looked magical in pics. The air felt thick with humidity, which made me feel instantly relaxed, I think?
- Evening: Dinner at the Puri Asri restaurant. Ordered Nasi Goreng, cause…duh. It was DELICIOUS. Like, seriously good. And then, the sunset. Oh.My.God. The sky exploded in colors I didn't know existed. I nearly choked on my rice from pure, unadulterated beauty. I actually teared up. Don't judge me. It was emotional.
- Side Note: Mosquitos. The little buggers. They are out for blood. I’m already covered in bites. I'll probably be wearing one of those mosquito nets, probably look ridiculous for the entire trip, but hey, I'd rather look silly than feel itchy and miserable.
Day 2: Jungle Vibes and a Spicy Epiphany
- Morning (The early bird…gets lost?): Tried to be a morning person and do the sunrise yoga, which, I failed! Woke up to the sun already up. I’m glad, or else I’d be really ashamed of myself. So I grabbed breakfast. The fruit plate was a revelation. Mangoes, pineapples… sweet, juicy perfection. Fuel for the day!
- Afternoon: Ubud Exploration- Booked a driver named "Wayan" (everyone's Wayan in Bali, apparently). He was a grumpy-looking guy who turned out to have a surprisingly sweet sense of humour. We drove around the luscious rice terraces, which were breathtaking. I actually made it way farther than I planned, and went on a full tour through a jungle resort.
- Evening: The Spice Incident - Dinner at a warung (local restaurant). Ordered something that sounded harmless (chicken curry, I think). Then the spice hit. I was gasping, sweating, and my eyes were watering. It was so hot. Honestly, it was the most intense flavour experience of my life. And, weirdly, I sort of loved it. Wayan was laughing at me, the cheeky devil.
Day 3: The Spa Day and the Spiritual Awkwardness
- Morning: Spa Bliss - Finally, some pampering! A traditional Balinese massage at the Puri Asri Spa. It was glorious. I actually dozed off, which almost never happens. I emerged feeling like a limp noodle, in the best possible way. I think I might go back tomorrow.
- Afternoon: Temple Visit (and a mini-existential crisis) - Went to a nearby temple. It was stunning, full of intricate carvings and a sense of ancient energy. The air smelled of incense and something else. I wish I paid more attention during the whole tour. The guy probably thought I was on something, or just plain stupid but I enjoyed the peacefulness of it. I did try to find some inner peace, but mostly I just felt a bit awkward, like I was intruding on something sacred.
- Evening: A Night of Rain and Reflections - The heavens opened. The rain poured down. Sat on my bungalow porch, watched the raindrops. I probably should have looked deeper within myself, but I was more occupied thinking about how many more days I have here… and how fast they're going. Feeling reflective.
Day 4: Beach Time and Chicken Satay Mania
- Morning: Beach Bliss - Hired another driver, this time to a beach. Sun, sand, and the sound of the ocean. Bliss. The water was warm, just perfect for swimming. I almost didn't want to leave until I remembered I was missing my spa day, again.
- Afternoon: Chicken Satay Overload - Had lunch at a beachside warung. Ate as much chicken satay as humanly possible. Repeated. It was so good. I'm pretty sure I ordered the entire menu. I have no regrets.
- Evening: Night Market Fun - Stumbled upon a night market. So many things! So many colours! Ended up buying far too many souvenirs (a carved wooden cat, a bag, some candles that smell like coconut). Absolutely worth it.
Day 5: Farewell (for Now)
- Morning: Last Sunrise & Goodbye Hugs - I woke up early and went to the infinity pool to witness the sunrise again. Breathtaking. It's a scene I'll never forget.
- Afternoon: Packing & Departure. Ugh, packing. Always a pain. Said goodbye to Wayan (he actually smiled this time!). One last look at Puri Asri as I drove away.
- Evening: The Long Journey. The ride to the airport and waiting around.
The Verdict:
Puri Asri wasn't just a trip; it was an experience. The beauty, the food, the people, the mosquitos! It was a wild mix of everything, and it was wonderful. It was full of moments of pure bliss, and moments of sheer chaos, and a whole lot of laughter. I came, I saw, I ate way too much chicken satay, and I left with a heart full of memories (and a suitcase full of souvenirs). I'll be back. Bali, you glorious, messy, unforgettable place. Farewell, for now.
Shanghai's JW Marriott: Unbelievable Luxury Awaits!
Alright, Let's Rip the Band-Aid Off: What *IS* This FAQ About, Even?
So, Like, What *Specifically* Are We Talking About? Is There a Point?
Speaking of Groceries, Can You, Like, *Function* in the Real World?
Okay, Okay, So You're a Hot Mess. Any Actual Advice? Like, Ever?
What's the Worst Thing That's Ever Happened to You? (Besides the Freezer Key Incident)
*Another time*, I decided to learn the trumpet. You know, that brass instrument. I was so excited! I bought the brightest, shiniest trumpet I could find, I watched every video I could, and I got lessons. I loved it! At first. Then I started making a lot of noises. Every day it went from a tiny, little squeak, a honk, a squeak, a honk to a screech in which I'd stop and think to myself, "What, in the name of all that is holy, is happening?! Am I even touching this thing right?" It was a disaster. The neighbors started leaving passive-aggressive notes (one said, "Please, for the love of all that is holy, stop the noise.") My lungs ached. And, most devastatingly, my dog started hiding under the couch whenever I even *looked* at the trumpet. I gave up after three months. I guess I'm just not a trumpeter.
What's the Best Thing That's Ever Happened to You?
Do You Think We're Alone in the Universe? And/or, What Else Keeps You Up at Night Outside of the Usual Existential Stuff?
Rapid-Fire Round: Favorite Snack? Guilty Pleasure? Hidden Talent?
- **Favorite Snack:** Cheesy popcorn. The kind that makes your fingers orange.
- **Guilty Pleasure:** Reality TV. Don't judge me.
- **Hidden Talent:** I can (almost) perfectly quote entire scenes from "Parks and Recreation."
What *Really* Annoys You?
Anything Else? Any Final Thoughts?
