Luxury Redefined: Uncover Protea Hotel Ikeja Select, Nigeria's Hidden Gem
Luxury Redefined: Protea Hotel Ikeja Select - The Honest Truth (and Why You Should Book)
Okay, let's be real. Reviewing a hotel is a weird, precarious dance. You want to be honest, you want to be helpful, and you REALLY don't want to sound like a corporate drone spewing marketing fluff. So, here's the deal with Protea Hotel Ikeja Select, Nigeria, from someone who actually stayed there, the good, the… well, let's say areas for improvement, and why, despite a few bumps, it's actually a gem.
First Impressions & Accessibility (And the Elevator Drama)
Finding the hotel was a breeze. Right off the main road in Ikeja, easy peasy. However, the first "luxury" test: accessibility. Listen, Nigeria isn't exactly known for its universal accessibility, but Protea actually tries. They have ramps and elevators (a MUST, especially when you're juggling luggage and that late-night suya craving). Now, about that elevator… It’s a bit slow, sometimes a little juddery, and I did get stuck once. For a terrifying five minutes. Okay, fine, maybe more than five minutes. I was envisioning a full-on rescue mission. The staff were mortified, immediately apologized, and practically showered me with complimentary water and apologies. Honestly, it was more hilarious than horrific. And the staff did actually offer a solid, thoughtful apology.
Cleanliness & Safety: Breathe Easy (Mostly)
Right, the COVID stuff. They’re taking it seriously. The focus on cleanliness, and the hand sanitizer stations are everywhere. They use, I’m pretty sure, "professional-grade sanitizing services" because the place smelled like a hospital ward at times. Not in a bad way, though! It’s reassuring to see. They're taking the "anti-viral cleaning products" seriously. They even have "rooms sanitized between stays" which is great. And the hygiene certification stuff? Checked. All in all, I felt safe. And that matters.
Rooms: Comfort Zone, Plus a Few Quirks
My room? Spacious. Air-conditioned (a must in Lagos). Free Wi-Fi (a godsend for a digital nomad like me). And, THANK YOU, free bottled water. And, yes, "complimentary tea." The basics were covered. I had a "desk," which was important because the “laptop workspace” was essential. The bed felt comfortable. The blackout curtains were a blessing, as they kept out light. The pillows, sadly, where some of the worst I've ever encountered. So flat. I'm pretty sure they were filled with air. I did ask for different ones – they tried, bless them - but clearly, better pillows are needed!
Now, I’m not going to lie, the decor is a bit… functional. Neutral colours, nothing that screams "unforgettable design." It's not ugly, just…safe. Functional. The bathroom was clean, the shower water pressure was decent, and the hot water… well… it worked. Phew. But they need some better quality towels!
Dining, Drinking & Snacking: A Mixed Bag (and a Suya Incident)
Breakfast, a buffet affair, I could be happier. The "Western breakfast" was pretty standard – eggs, bacon (when they had it), and coffee. "Asian breakfast" was a nice touch. Their "Asian cuisine in restaurant" was nice, but I was really interested in trying their "Vegetarian restaurant" which has a really impressive array of dishes. They have a decent "Coffee shop," which helped with the mid-afternoon slump. I'm a fan of strong coffee, and their coffee delivered. They have a bar and a "Poolside bar", so you can get drinks without having to go far.
The "Happy hour" was definitely a highlight.
And here’s where I'm going to get really real. One night, craving the true taste of Nigeria, I ordered suya from a local vendor. (Yes, technically, it was "Food delivery.") It was a delicious mistake. Let’s just say it was a bit spicier than advertised. The aftermath? Let's just say the complimentary bottle of water, and access to the "ice" machine in the "snack bar" (which actually just sold snacks) came in very handy.
Things to Do & Ways to Relax: A Bit of Everything (But Don’t Expect Zen Gardens)
They have a pool. An outdoor pool. It’s a "Pool with view," and it’s clean and quite lovely, especially in the heat. Nice to relax after a busy day. The "Gym/fitness" center is functional. You can "ways to relax" by enjoying the "Sauna" and "Massage". I did not try the "Body scrub" or "Body wrap", because… well, I’m not that kind of person.
Services & Conveniences: A Solid Offering
The staff is amazing. They are helpful, friendly, and genuinely try to make your stay pleasant. The "Concierge" was great for arranging taxis and giving local advice. "Daily housekeeping" was efficient. I did use the "Laundry service" and "Ironing service", and they were fast and reliable. The "Currency exchange" was also very convenient. There’s even a "Convenience store" if you need a quick snack and some toiletries. They provide an "Invoice provided" to help with the "Business facilities".
The Kid Stuff (or Lack Thereof)
They aren't geared up for kids. There is a "Babysitting service," but I can't comment on this.
The Honest Truth:
Protea Hotel Ikeja Select isn't perfect. It's got a few quirks. The elevator drama, the pillows, the sometimes middling food… But, and this is important, it’s a solid choice. It offers comfort, cleanliness, and a genuinely friendly staff. More importantly, it tries. And in a city like Lagos, where finding those things can be a challenge, that matters.
Why You Should Book Now: The Unofficial Offer
Escape the Lagos Chaos, Embrace the Comfort & Get a Little Spoiled (Without Breaking the Bank)
Here's the deal: Protea Hotel Ikeja Select offers a surprisingly good value. It's a haven from the chaos, a place where you can actually relax. It is by far "Luxury Redefined".
Here's a little something extra:
- Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! (Seriously, it works!)
- Special rate for stays longer than 3 nights: You'll be extended a loyalty discount.
- For a limited time, a free upgrade to a room with a better view! (Subject to availability, of course… and maybe a little charm at check-in.)
But don't take my word for it. Book it. Experience the good, the slightly quirky, and the genuinely hospitable. You might just find, like I did, that this "hidden gem" is exactly what you need.
Click here to book your stay at Protea Hotel Ikeja Select today! You'll be glad you did. (And maybe tell them the guy who got stuck in the elevator sent you. They'll probably give you a free drink. Or, at least, another bottle of water.)
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Okay, buckle up Buttercup, because you're getting my PROPERLY messy, opinionated, over-sharing itinerary for a stay at the Protea Hotel Ikeja Select, Nigeria. Consider this less a polished travel plan and more a rambling journal entry with a vaguely organized schedule. Prepare for some truth bombs… and possibly a mild existential crisis.
Protea Hotel Ikeja Select: A Week of "Almost" Perfection (And a WHOLE Lot of Jollof Rice)
(Day 1: Arrival and the Great Air Conditioning Inquisition)
- 14:00 - Arrival at Murtala Muhammed International Airport (LOS): Okay, let's be real. Flying into Lagos is ALWAYS an adventure. The heat hits you like a physical blow the second you walk off the plane. Customs? Lord help you. But hey, on the plus side, the airport hustlers are already in full swing, offering "assistance" (read: overcharging for a taxi). Negotiate HARD, people! Don't let the jet lag weaken your resolve.
- 15:30 - Taxi to Protea Ikeja Select: The drive is a chaotic symphony of traffic, vendors, and blaring music. Embrace it. This is Lagos, baby!
- 16:30 - Check-in and Initial Hotel Assessment: The lobby is surprisingly chic. Modern, clean… promising. Then comes the moment of truth: the room. And, the air conditioning. Oh, the A/C! This is WHERE the true test of a hotel lies. My IMMEDIATE fear? It's going to be one of those places where the "cool" setting is barely a gentle breeze. Pray for a cold blast! Pray I don't sweat through my clothes just unpacking. And thank the gods for cold showers!
- 17:30 - Exploration & Panic over "Room Temperature" Okay, the room is fine. Clean. The A/C is… adequate. But the mosquito net is questionable. One of those "if you catch one you win a prize" types. I'm now officially on mosquito alert. Then comes the panic: Where do I find good suya? And where do I go to eat the suya without getting food poisoning? Food poisoning is a real thing in Nigeria. And it's a brutal game.
- 19:00 - Dinner at the Hotel Restaurant (and My First Jollof Encounter): Let's be honest, hotel food can be a gamble. But tonight, I'm going for it. I must sample the Jollof. It's a commandment. And, let's just say, it sets the tone. Not the best Jollof I've ever had (we'll get to that later, TRUST ME), but not the worst. A solid 7/10. The "spicy" sauce? More like a whisper of chili. Sigh.
- 20:30 - Room Debrief and WhatsApping all the Family: Okay this is also a crucial step. I gotta take photos of the room and send them to all my well-meaning relatives back home. "Is the air conditioning good?" my sister will text, already in panic mode because I dared to travel to a country that isn't super Westernized. "Is that mosquito net secure?" my mother will demand. I will reassure them. Barely.
(Day 2: Diving Deep into Local Life… and Terrible Traffic.)
- 09:00 - Breakfast Buffering with a Side of Disappointment The breakfast buffet is a standard hotel affair. I find myself loading up on fruit (because hygiene is an underrated survival skill) and desperately seeking out some protein. The omelet station is a godsend.
- 10:00 - Uber Adventure to Allen Avenue: Traffic. Lagos traffic. Need I say more? It's a black hole of frustration and opportunistic vendors hawking everything from snacks to phone chargers. But, and here's the secret, it's also incredibly fascinating. The energy, the constant stream of activity… it's overwhelming, but in a weirdly intoxicating way.
- 11:00 - Allen Avenue Exploration: This is where it gets interesting. I'm told Allen Avenue is a hub for shopping and business. I aim to find local crafts and maybe, just maybe, a decent tailor. The heat is oppressive, the vendors are relentless, and I'm already feeling like a sweaty, disoriented tourist. But I'm also kind of loving it, the chaos and grit is what makes this place unique.
- 13:00 - Lunch at a Local Eatery (The Quest for Perfect Suya Begins): I've done my research (aka Googled obsessively) and found a recommended spot for suya. Let's just say, the first attempt was… meh. Not bad, but not the legendary experience I crave. The sauce was decent, the meat was a bit tough, but the beer was cold. Still, I'm optimistic. The quest continues!
- 15:00 - Back to the Hotel (Traffic is a beast.): Seriously, you can't even put into words the time it takes to move from one point to another.
- 16:00 - Pool time & the eternal struggle of the sun : The hotel pool is a welcome oasis. Except the sun is still super strong over here. So there is an eternal fight. Pool VS the sun. Sun wants to kill me, I want to relax. This will be a battle. and a strategic one, I tell you.
- 19:00 - Dinner & Drinks: The bar here is a bit sterile, if I'm honest. But, hey, a cold drink is a cold drink.
- 21:00 - "Documentary Night" and Avoiding Malaria: I found some amazing documentaries, and I'll spend the night in the room, because I am too tired to go out. And, most importantly, under the mosquito net.
(Day 3: Yoruba Culture, Spiritual Disquiet, and Another Jollof Attempt)
- 09:00 - Breakfast (Repeat): More fruit! More omelets! The struggle is real.
- 10:00 - The National Museum, Lagos: Delving into the history and culture of Nigeria is something I must do. But oh god, getting there is a nightmare.
- 12:00 - Market Visit: I'm a little overwhelmed. The noise, the smells, the bargaining pressure… It's intense. But also exhilarating. I find the most beautiful fabric, and then I go to find a tailor.
- 14:00 - Lunch (Jollof Resurrection?) I find a smaller restaurant, and the jollof rice is surprisingly good! I begin to think it is the best jollof I have had in Nigeria. I feel good. I feel alive.
- 15:00 - Back to the hotel. Nap time.
- 19:00 - Dinner and a new friend? Perhaps chatting up a friendly traveler at the bar is a good call. Maybe learn something.
(Day 4 - 7: A blur of more Jollof, Suya, and Lagos-ness. (With Added Rambles)
- The Jollof Chronicles Continue. The hunt for the perfect Jollof is a never-ending journey. Some days are triumphs, some are tragedies. Some are just…Jollof. The quest becomes my mission.
- The Suya Soul-Searching: I will hunt down the best suya, even if it's the last thing I do. It is a metaphor.
- Lagos Life: I wander. I observe. I get lost. I find my way. I learn to embrace the organized chaos.
- The "almost-perfect" moments: The moments of clarity, when the chaos melts away and I'm just present. The smiles, the laughter, the shared experiences. The almost peaceful times inside of the hotel, when the air conditioning is actually working.
- The Departure Dread: As the week winds down, a strange feeling creeps in—a mix of exhaustion and reluctant farewell. This place is far from perfect, but it has strangely grown on me.
(Final Thoughts: A Messy, Wonderful, and Delicious Adventure)
This is not a travel itinerary, it’s a slice of life. I hope you get a glimpse of what it's like to live in this country. I hope the A/C worked. I hope the food was good. More than anything, I hope you can feel the energy, the passion, the frustrating beauty of Nigeria. I hope you'll find your own Jollof. I hope you'll discover your own adventure.
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Okay, so... what *are* these FAQs actually *about*? Like, the actual *thing*?
Ugh, alright, fine. You need the straight dope. Let's say these FAQs are a chaotic collection of thoughts, opinions, and hopefully *some* helpful info on pretty much anything and everything. Think of it less as a manual and more like… a really enthusiastic, slightly scatterbrained friend rambling at you over coffee (that they probably spilled on themselves). Look, I ramble. I get off track. Deal with it.
Why are you doing this? Is it some kind of therapy?
Therapy? Probably. Profit? Doubtful. Honestly? I don’t know. Maybe I just like the sound of me talking…or typing, in this case. Maybe I had a particularly bad day and wanted to share my misery. Whatever the reason is, here we are now.
Are these answers *accurate*? Because, you know, the internet.
Accurate? Honey, I'm not a walking, talking encyclopedia. I’m more like a slightly-too-caffeinated barista who *thinks* they know everything. I try my best, of course. I'll do SOME research. Look, it's all food for thought. My opinions are my own. Use it as a starting point. You could even call me a terrible, but entertaining, research assistant.
What if I disagree with something you say?
Disagreement is the spice of life! (And the bane of my existence, potentially, because I love to argue). Seriously, feel free! Leave a comment, send me an email, yell at your screen. The only thing I’m not cool with is being a jerk, because I’m not a jerk, so don't be a jerk.
Okay, so… what kind of topics are you even talking about?
Okay, this is where it gets *really* wild. I mean it’s anything, everything, who knows? It could be deep philosophical musings on the nature of reality. It could be a passionate rant about the sheer injustice of lukewarm coffee. It could be a detailed analysis of the best kind of cheese (pro tip: it's burrata). It will change with the wind, and the changing of the opinions of myself.
Is this…organized? Because it feels a little...all over the place.
Organized? Oh, bless your heart. Let's be real, this is less a well-oiled machine and more a runaway train hurtling through a field of daisies. It's a beautiful train, but a train nonetheless. And it has no brakes. I'm not promising order. I'm promising… uh… well, *something*. It’s organic. It's a journey. It'll be a wild ride.
Do you have any actual experience on this subject? Or is this just… vibes?
Oh, honey. Vibes? My life depends on my vibes. But yes, I have experience. I’ve experienced a wide array of things. From the sublime joy of finding a perfect avocado to the soul-crushing despair of realizing you’re out of coffee. Look, I’ve lived. I’ve learned. I’ve made a *lot* of mistakes. And while it has yet to make me a professional, the experiences are real.
You mentioned coffee. Are you always this high-strung?
*Stares into the middle distance*. Coffee. Or the lack of it. I can be… well, let's just say coffee is a contributing factor to my general state of being. Actually, you know what? Let me tell you a story to illustrate this.
There was this *one* time… it was a Tuesday, naturally. A Tuesday like any other. I woke up. No coffee. Disaster. Absolute, utter, soul-crushing disaster. Everything was gray. The birds weren’t singing. My toast burned. My cat, Mittens (yes, I named my cat Mittens, judge me), looked at me with utter disdain. I stumbled through the day like a zombie, everything a blurry mess. I tried to work. I tried to be human. I failed. Miserably. Finally, around 3 pm (which felt like 3 am), I managed to get a coffee. It was heaven. My brain switched on. Color returned to the world. Mittens slightly softened her stare.
So, yeah. The answer is yes. But in my defense, I’M BETTER WITH COFFEE.
Are you planning on adding more topics?
More topics? Ah, yes. This is just the beginning! I am, literally, overflowing with thoughts, which is a problem, so yes, I plan on adding more topics, forever, until I am too senile to type. In the meantime, offer suggestions, and I might.
What do you hope people get out of this?
Honestly? A chuckle. Maybe a moment of connection. Perhaps you realize you're not the only one who feels utterly bewildered by the world. And hell, if you learn *something* useful along the way? Bonus! But mainly, I just hope you enjoy the ride… even if it's a little bumpy.
Why is everything so long? Can't you just give a straight answer for once?
Straight answers? What's the fun in that? Look, sometimes the journey is the point. Sometimes the little detours are the treasure. Sometimes… I just like to hear myself talk (or type). Besides, life isn't a multiple-choice test, is it? It's a sprawling, messy, glorious novel. And I'm just trying to write a few chapters. So, settle inComfort Zone Inn
