**Vernon's BEST Kept Secret? This Hotel Will SHOCK You!**

Holiday Inn Express Vernon-Manchester By IHG United States

**Vernon's BEST Kept Secret? This Hotel Will SHOCK You!**

Alright, buckle up buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into the "SHOCKING" world of Vernon's BEST Kept Secret. And let me tell you, after the rollercoaster I just went on, I need a stiff drink (or maybe just the free bottled water they give you… Details, details!).

(Disclaimer: This isn't a perfectly organized, robotic review. Real humans stayed here, and that means real opinions and… well, some chaos. Let's get messy!)

First Impressions & Accessibility – A Mixed Bag (Honestly.)

The whole "secret" thing? Yeah, that's a bit of an exaggeration. It's a hotel in Vernon. But, and this is a BIG but, accessibility is what I'm going to focus on at first because I, well, I care about people and not everyone can climb 3 flights of stairs to get to their room.

• Access Considerations: The hotel mentions "Facilities for disabled guests" -- which is a good start. The elevator is a MAJOR plus. HUGE. I can already tell you that the “Exterior corridor” means if they don't have accessible rooms on the ground floor, that's a problem. They say "Car park [free of charge, on-site]" which is really important is good news if you've got mobility issues.
• The Shock (If You Need It): So I didn't test all of this, but I'm concerned that "Family/child friendly" is more of what they focus on, which is not always kind to disabled people (and that's a shame). So call ahead, DEFINITELY call ahead and get SPECIFIC details about: Room access; Bathroom access; Restaurant access.

The Good Stuff – Where the Secret Gets a Little Better (Mostly!)

Okay, let's get to the fun stuff! This place, for all its potential flaws, had some definite highlights.

• Internet, Internet, (and More) Internet! Look, I need Wi-Fi. I live on Wi-Fi. The fact that it’s "Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!" is a massive win. Plus, the promise of dedicated "Internet [LAN]" access is great. Then you see “Wi-Fi in public areas" - solid!
• Things to Do - Relax Mode: I'm a huge fan of swimming and the “Swimming pool [outdoor]" and "Swimming pool" are excellent. Maybe it has a “Pool with a view" too? I hope so! Sauna? Yes. Spa? YES! (I need to get a "Body scrub" ASAP)
• Cleanliness & Safety (THANK YOU, in this current world!): Okay, the most important thing, and I'm thrilled to report the hotel seems VERY serious about this, they have multiple listings for anti-viral cleaning and sterilizing. The way they have set up their safe dining is a big plus to me, as is Daily disinfection in common areas, professional grade sanitizing and many more, and this makes me start to feel at ease!

Rooms: The Comfort Factor (And the Annoyances!)

Right, the rooms. Let me be frank: I have a thing for rooms. The basics are there: "Air conditioning," "Air conditioning in public area", "Blackout curtains" (essential for my sleep!), "Coffee/tea maker," "Daily housekeeping" (THANK YOU AGAIN), and a "Hair dryer". And the important ones, "In-room safe box" and "Smoke detector" were there!

But, here's where the imperfections come in. I adore a good bathrobe; sadly, it's not guaranteed. And while I'm glad the "Window that opens" (fresh air, baby!), I'm not sure how to deal with the "Desk" or "Laptop workspace" that are listed. And hey, there's the "Mirror" and "Reading light". Honestly, I was hoping for some "Room decorations" or even, like, a vase!

Dining, Drinking, and Snacking – Fueling the Fun!

Okay, eating. I love eating. I'm a bottomless pit.

• The Buffet vs. A La Carte Debate: A "Breakfast [buffet]" is always good. "A la carte in restaurant" is a good sign too. "Coffee/tea in restaurant" is essential, as is a bar.
• Variety is the Spice of Life: The fact there's "Asian breakfast," "Asian cuisine in restaurant," "International cuisine in restaurant," and a "Vegetarian restaurant?" HUGE! I ate at a "Snack bar" one day and that was great!
• The Quirky Observation: I really wanted a "Bottle of water" and they gave me one. A nice touch.

Services and Conveniences: They Try!

The hotel offers a ton of services. Here are the bits that caught my attention:

• Conveniences: "Daily housekeeping" is the best one. The "Concierge" is a good touch. "Dry cleaning," "Laundry service," (THANK YOU AGAIN).
• Businessy Things: "Xerox/fax in business center"
• That 'Little Extra': I appreciated the "Doorman." "Facilities for disabled guests," are great. "Gift/souvenir shop" is always a plus! "Safe dining setup" and "Cashless payment service."

For the Kids – A Family Focus

They have "Babysitting service," "Family/child friendly" and "Kids facilities", and that's great for those with children.

Getting Around

"Airport transfer" "Bicycle parking" "Car park [free of charge]" "Car park [on-site]" "Taxi service" "Valet parking"

The "Shock" Factor?

Honestly? The "shock" wasn't quite as dramatic as the marketing suggests. But here's what did surprise me: The genuine effort they put into trying to provide a comfortable stay!

My Overall Impression & Recommendation

• Pros: Cleanliness, service, variety, and the attempts to make it modern!
• Cons: Accessibility needs to be clarified. And the "shock" claims are a tad overblown.

My Final Verdict:

If you're looking for a comfortable, well-equipped stay with lots of amenities and you prioritize safety and are planning ahead to ensure complete accessibility, "Vernon's BEST Kept Secret" is worth checking out. I give it a solid 4 out of 5 stars.

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Alright, buckle up, buttercups! This ain't your grandma's meticulously planned itinerary (though, bless her heart, she did love a good spreadsheet). This is the real deal, the Holiday Inn Express Vernon-Manchester by IHG experience, warts and all. Prepare for a wild ride.

Day 1: Arrival & Existential Dread in the Land of Beige

• Afternoon (2:30 PM): Arrive at the Holiday Inn Express. "Express," huh? More like "Express-ly Here to Remind You You're Not Getting Any Younger." Check-in process: Smooth enough, which is honestly a relief. Already battling the urge to crawl back into my car and blast music for three hours. Hotel lobby? Beige. Beige carpet, beige walls, beige… air freshener? Possibly. Is it the beige that's making me feel this way? Deep questions for another time.

  • Anecdote: The front desk guy, bless him, was wearing a name tag that said "Chad." Chad was genuinely cheerful. Gave me the key, a smile, and a hearty "Welcome!" Chad deserved a medal for his optimism. I’m pretty sure it was a pre-ticked mental health checklist.

• Afternoon (3:00 PM): Room. Standard. Feels like a portal to a generic Tuesday. The bedspread is… polyester, I suspect. Am I judging? Yes. Am I allowed to? Absolutely. At least the AC works, and that's a win in my book. Especially after the drive from…, well, wherever I came from. Where did I come from? Oh yeah, the highway. It blurred along the way here.

• Afternoon (3:30 PM): Unpack (mostly, let's be real). Then, a moment of sheer, unadulterated nothingness. That feeling when you're just… existing. Gotta shake it off. Gotta find something to do.

• Afternoon (4:00 PM): Search for a semi local grocery store that sells junk food and alcohol.

  • Quirky Observation: Found a gas station a few miles out. The sheer variety of energy drinks was dizzying. Who needs that much caffeine? (Me. I need that much caffeine.)

• Evening (6:00 PM): Back in the room, with my bounty of sugar and liquid courage. Ordering pizza. Because, why not. It's the only sensible thing to do in a beige room, in Vernon-Manchester!

  • Emotional Reaction: Okay, the pizza was… fine. Edible. Not a culinary masterpiece, but it filled the void, both literally and metaphorically.

• Evening (8:00 PM): Channel surfing. The TV remote… is a weapon. I have lost a battle with it. Found a bad movie. Watching that bad movie.

  • Opinionated Language: This movie is utter garbage. But I'm strangely captivated. It's like a train wreck. I can't look away. Send help. Or more pizza.

• Evening (10:00 PM): Attempt to sleep. The sound of the highway is a constant hum. It’s both comforting and unsettling. I'm either falling asleep or the highway has become my lullaby. I am unsure which one.

Day 2: Delving Deeper (Into… Something)

• Morning (7:00 AM): Breakfast. Free breakfast! Honestly? Not bad. The eggs… questionable. The coffee… well, it's coffee.

  • Imperfections: The waffle maker was a battle. I went for it! It won. I am now covered in that sticky-sweet waffle batter. I'm already done with this experience.

• Morning (8:00 AM): Check out the pool. (Heard a rumor, I just had to find out!)

  • Stronger Emotional Reaction: The pool was EMPTY. A sad, lonely rectangle of chlorinated sadness. I felt a profound sense of… commiseration?
  • Stream-of-Consciousness: Wait, am I just projecting my own feelings of loneliness on the pool? Is that a thing? I need more coffee.

• Morning (9:00 AM): Wandering around in a town that might not have stuff to do. Feeling the pressure of having nothing to do.

• Afternoon (2:00 PM): Back to the hotel. This time, it's the fitness center.

  • Opinionated Language: Okay, the "fitness center" is a closet with a treadmill and a bike. But hey, at least they tried. I half do 30 minutes on the treadmill, and then, to the pool!
  • (Doubling Down on Experience): I sit at the edge of the pool for an hour. I see the sad rectangle again, but this time, I look at it from a new angle. I can’t help but admire its… emptiness. This is my life for the next hour or so.

• Afternoon (4:00 PM): Another quick trip to the gas station. More caffeine. More snacks. More…. something.

• Evening (6:00 PM): Pizza again! This time, I’m getting to know the delivery guy. (He's got some stories, let me tell you.)

• Evening (8:00 PM): More bad TV. More existential musings.

• Evening (11:00 PM): (Maybe) Sleep.

Day 3: Escape!

• Morning (7:00 AM): Repeat breakfast. Repeat waffle attempt. (Victory!)

• Morning (8:00 AM): Check out.

  • Emotional Reaction: Leaving the Holiday Inn Express feels… liberating. It's like escaping a perfectly beige tomb.

• Morning (8:00 AM): Actually, it was a cozy, and cheap place. But I am still leaving. And now it’s time to get back on that highway! Next destination… well, who knows? The adventure, I guess, continues.

• Messier Structure: Maybe I'll go to the beach. Or a mountain. Or to a different Holiday Inn. Or back home. Who knows? The possibilities… are endless. And a little terrifying. But at least I'm not still in that beige room. And that, my friends, is something.

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Vernon's BEST Kept Secret? You Won't BELIEVE This Hotel! Or...Will You? (Let's Unpack This Mess)

Okay, so, "Vernon's BEST Kept Secret"... What IS this mysterious hotel anyway? Is it even *GOOD*? Spill the tea!

Alright, alright, deep breaths. So, "Vernon's BEST Kept Secret" (and I’m being intentionally vague here because… well, security, and the off-chance someone from the hotel reads this! Awkward!). It's a hotel in Vernon. Yup. That’s the big reveal. It's not some flying saucer landing pad, although, after the experience I had in the *laundry room* (we'll get to that later, trust me), it almost *felt* like one. Is it good? Okay, that’s the million-dollar question, isn't it? Let's just say, my expectations were…challenged. I walked in thinking “boutique charm, hidden gem, a little vintage maybe?” I walked *out*… well, let’s just say I walked out with a newfound appreciation for the phrase: "It has character." (and a slight lingering scent of… bleach. And regret.)

Wait… is it *actually* a secret? Like, do you need a password? A decoder ring? Tell me the intel!

A secret? Well, not exactly. It's not like *Fight Club*. But… it's not plastered all over Instagram either, you know? You *might* have to do a little digging. Maybe check some slightly outdated travel blogs (which, by the way, I *absolutely* did before I went, and the reviews were... mixed. I should've run). There's no secret handshake or anything. No password. You just… book a room (if you can find a free one. That's another story...). The secrecy is more about its, shall we say, *unassuming* presence? It isn't exactly the Four Seasons.

What's the ROOM situation? Are we talking luxury suites or… something else entirely? And the bathrooms?! (Important)

Right. The *rooms*. This is where things get… interesting. Forget "luxury suites." Think more: "Slightly-worn single bed with a view of… the parking lot. And a *really* active imagination is required to see anything else." I’m not saying it was *bad*, per se. Just… unique. And the bathrooms? Oh, the bathrooms. Let's just say I mentally prepared myself for Victorian plumbing while I was still driving to the hotel. The water pressure was… spirited. The temperature… unpredictable. I'm pretty sure I could have boiled an egg in the shower one morning (metaphorically, of course. Safety first!). But hey, it had a shower! That’s a win, right? RIGHT?!

Okay, you *mentioned* the laundry room before. Color me intrigued (and also, a little terrified). What happened there?!

*Deep breath.* The laundry room. Okay, so picture this: I'm trying to salvage a particularly disastrous stain on my favorite shirt (don't judge – road trip carnage is REAL). I venture down to the laundry room, which, by the way, I swear was located in a sub-basement that had not seen the light of day since the Eisenhower administration… and that's putting it kindly. The air was thick with the scent of industrial-strength bleach, and there was this… *hum* emanating from the machines. Like a low-frequency heartbeat. Then, there was the washing machine. It looked ancient. Like, "salvaged from a shipwreck" ancient. And it was *leaking* something mysterious – I think it's just water. I *begged* it was just water. And then, the door slammed shut behind me. *Click.* And I was *locked* in. I mean, it was probably just a stuck latch, right? I panicked. I mean, I didn't actually *panic*. I just... quietly, politely, but firmly called for help. I did discover that their emergency button didn't actually *do* anything to actually get you free. But, I did find some fantastic lint in the dryer. So, silver linings, I guess?

Was the staff charming? Were they helpful? Or do you think they were all secretly plotting against me?

The staff. Oh, the staff. They were… present. Let's go with that. There was one woman (bless her heart, she was likely running the entire hotel, by herself) who seemed to be everywhere at once – checking guests in, answering the phone, maybe even doing the plumbing? I’m not entirely sure. She was… efficient. And friendly, in a sort of "I've seen things" kind of way. I wouldn't say they were plotting against me, no. More like… quietly enduring. You know, the way anyone endures a job where they're likely underpaid and dealing with questionable infrastructure and potentially haunted laundry rooms. At least I *hope* the laundry room wasn't haunted...

What about the food? Any culinary delights (or disasters) to report? Breakfast? Dinner? Room service? (Please say there was room service…)

Food. Ah, right. Well… breakfast *was* included. And by "included," I mean "a continental buffet set up in a dimly lit corner of the lobby." Think: pre-packaged muffins, stale bagels, instant coffee that tasted vaguely of… sadness. Okay, maybe I'm being harsh. It *served* a purpose. Filling the void of emptiness. There *was*, I think, a toaster. Dinner? You're on your own. Room service? (Sighs dramatically). Nope. I didn't find anything to eat. And that's okay.

So, based on all of this… Would you recommend this hotel? Do I need to pack hazmat gear?

Would I recommend it? Hmmm. Look, that’s a tough one. Packed with hazmat gear? Probably not. Unless you’re REALLY concerned about the laundry room. It’s a story, for sure. It's an *experience*. It’s… memorable. If you’re looking for luxury, skip it. If you want sparkling clean, maybe look elsewhere. But… if you're an adventurous sort, if you appreciate a bit of "charm," if you like a good story to tell, then maybe. Just… lower your expectations. Significantly. And maybe bring your own pillow. And definitely inspect the locks on the laundry room door. And tell me what you think of the coffee! I need to know!

Chicstayst

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