Unbelievable Modesto Getaway: Holiday Inn Express® Suites Awaits!
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into the Unbelievable Modesto Getaway: Holiday Inn Express® Suites Awaits! And let me tell you, this isn't just another cookie-cutter hotel review. I'm going to lay it all out – the good, the slightly less good (because let's be real, perfection is a myth), and the times I almost tripped over my own feet.
First, the Lowdown (and Maybe a Grumble):
Right off the bat, let’s get the accessibility stuff out of the way. They claim to be wheelchair accessible, and have facilities for disabled guests, which is fantastic (and crucial!). I didn’t personally need any of those things this trip, but I’m always looking out for it. Hopefully, it truly is accessible and not just "technically" accessible. The elevator better work. Seriously. I'm a woman of a certain age, and I don't want to climb endless stairs carrying my suitcase. And on-site accessible restaurants/lounges? Hopefully, that’s not just code for “a slightly wider doorway”. Okay, I’ll get off my soapbox now.
The Internet Age: Wi-Fi Woes and Wins
Internet access is apparently plentiful. They trumpet Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! which gets a HUGE thumbs up from me. Like, a standing ovation. I need the internet. I live on the internet. My sanity depends on the internet. Wi-Fi in public areas too? Even better. I’m picturing myself curled up with a latte, catching up on emails…or, you know, gossiping on Twitter. I will absolutely utilize that Internet (duh!). And Internet [LAN]? For you tech wizards!
Cleanliness and Safety: Can I Breathe a Sigh of Relief?
Okay, here’s where I get a little… vigilant. Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Rooms sanitized between stays… that’s all music to my germaphobe ears. Professional-grade sanitizing services? Excellent. Staff trained in safety protocol? I hope so. I need to feel safe. I really do. (I'm also a hygiene certification kinda gal, just saying.) Hand sanitizer? That’s not just a nice-to-have, that's a survival necessity. And individually-wrapped food options? I like the sound of that too. I need a little peace of mind, after all the doom and gloom of current times.
Rooms: Can I Actually Unpack?
Okay, real talk: I need a good room. Air conditioning (duh! Especially in Modesto!) Blackout curtains are a must (sleep is sacred!). Coffee/tea maker? Yes! Hair dryer? Double yes! And free bottled water? You're speaking my language! And then the basics, the bathroom, the towels, the toiletries, the mirror, the bed. I can't live on a couch in front of the TV, no! I need some basics for a "suite" and a comfortable stay. I need a socket near the bed because, let’s be honest, I’m glued to that phone. The in-room safe box is a nice touch, although I might forget how to use it. I am all ready for this amazing getaway!
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: Feed Me, Seymour!
Ah, food. My other great love. This is where things get interesting. Breakfast [buffet]? I'm in. But I'm also a breakfast takeaway service kinda gal if I'm in a rush. I like the sound of alternative meal arrangement. And room service [24-hour]? Yes, please and thank you. Coffee/tea in restaurant? Essential. I could probably live in a coffee shop. Snack bar? Okay, maybe I'll skip lunch and fill up on snacks!
Pool-side Fun:
Swimming pool [outdoor]? Awesome! I'm not a huge fan of the cold, and no matter how much I want to, I can't ski. A little time in the sun is always welcome.
What to Do (Besides Eat and Sleep):
Things to do are a mystery. Maybe Modesto is full of hidden gems! I'll have to check that out.
Getting Around:
Car park [free of charge]? YES! Driving is the only way I know how to live. Car park [on-site]? Even better, if it’s not too far away.
Services and Conveniences: The Stuff That Makes Life Easier
Daily housekeeping? Bless you, housekeeping. You're my heroes. Laundry service? Very, very helpful. Concierge? Love ‘em. Doorman? Makes me feel fancy. Cashless payment service? Essential in today’s world.
Now, the Emotional Rollercoaster (aka the Personal Touch)
Okay, here’s where things get real. I’m looking for a getaway. I need a break. I want to feel pampered (but not in a stuffy way). I want a place that feels like a vacation, not just a place to crash. I'm envisioning myself lounging by the pool after a day of retail therapy, and a relaxing spa day.
The idea of spa/sauna or massage makes my shoulders relax just thinking about it. Pool with view? Swoon. I imagine myself, sipping a something fruity (maybe from the poolside bar), and watching the sunset.
Can this hotel really deliver the relaxation I crave? We shall see. Because I’m going to be honest, I’m judging. I want to be impressed. I want to have a good time!
The Rambling Pitch (aka Why You Should Book This Hotel):
Okay, here's the deal. You, my weary traveler, deserve a break. Stop looking at your phone and come away with me. Pack your bags. Forget about your to-do list. The Unbelievable Modesto Getaway: Holiday Inn Express® Suites Awaits! is calling your name.
This isn’t just a hotel; it's a promise. A promise of a good night's sleep in a clean and comfortable room, a promise of delicious food to fill your belly, and most of all, a promise of relaxation.
So, what's the offer?
Book your getaway NOW, and get:
- A guaranteed upgrade to a suite (if available!)
- A complimentary bottle of wine upon arrival (because, let's be real, you deserve it!)
- Free breakfast for the duration of your stay!
- A special discount on spa treatments (if available!)
Bonus: If you mention this review, you get a free… well, something nice. I can’t promise you the moon, but I can promise you a good time.
Don't wait! Book your Unbelievable Modesto Getaway now!
Click the link below. Do it. Trust me. Your sanity will thank you.
(And if you see me there, buy me a coffee. It’s the least you can do after reading my rambling, slightly sarcastic review!)
Shinsaibashi Subway Access & Free WiFi: Your Perfect Osaka Stay!
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because this ain't your perfectly curated Instagram travel blog. This is real life, hitting the Holiday Inn Express & Suites Modesto-Salida by IHG. And frankly, I'm already questioning my life choices. But hey, Modesto! (Cue gravelly voice, like I'm narrating a Western.)
The Modesto Meander: A Journey of Questionable Decisions and Questionable Comfort
Day 1: Arrival (and Existential Dread)
2:00 PM: Arrived. Modesto. The name alone whispers of… well, I don’t know what. But it’s definitely not the French Riviera. The hotel…well, it's a Holiday Inn Express. Clean, yeah, but also the kind of clean that feels slightly…sterile. Like they just wiped down the entire lobby with a smile and a can of industrial strength disinfectant. The lobby is, to be honest, underwhelming. But hey, free cookies. Priorities, people!
2:30 PM: Check-in. Encountered Brenda at the front desk. Brenda is… earnest. She’s got the name tag that says "Brenda" on it. She’s wearing sensible shoes, and her hair is perfectly coiffed. I suspect she knows everything about this town. Brenda asked me about my "travel plans." I stammered something about "exploring the local…charm?". She narrowed her eyes a little, like maybe I’d better actually do something, and handed me my key.
3:00 PM: Room Reconnaissance. My room. Ah, the sanctuary! A comfortable, if non-descript, haven from the…the general reality of life. Two queen beds (thank god, I'm travelling alone, so no sharing! Who knows what kind of horrors my roommate might unleash). The air conditioning is already blasting, fighting a valiant battle against the California sun. The TV? A big screen, and there's something about that makes me a little emotional. I think it's the freedom. I'm free to watch whatever I want!
3:30 PM: Cookie consumption (delicious!) and strategic placement of suitcase. Gotta mark my territory. This is my space for the next few days, and damn is it going to be cluttered with clothes and opened snacks and discarded receipts.
4:00 PM: Decision Paralysis. What is there to do in Modesto? Google Maps suggests… a lot of fast food and some "attractions" with names like "Funworks" and "Vintage Faire Mall". The words "vintage" and "mall" in the same phrase fill me with both morbid curiosity and abject terror. I'm leaning towards a nap. Definitely a nap. This is important.
6:00 PM: Nap accomplished. I emerged, blinking, from the void. Had a dream about being chased by… a gigantic, sentient hot dog. Don't ask. The cookie has worn off. Time to… eat?
7:00 PM: Diner time! Took Brenda's advice (she did give me a recommendation! I think she was judging my lack of enthusiasm) to a local place she swore was "a real treasure." The food was… well, it filled the hole. The waitress, bless her heart, was named Agnes and also wore sensible shoes. I told her what I did, and started explaining my blog idea, and then realized I had to actually decide I was a real writer. Awkward.
8:30 PM: Back at the hotel. The air conditioning is actually cold now. This is a win. I'm going to try to watch some TV until my eyes get heavy.
9:00 PM: The TV. And the snacks. And the sweet, sweet freedom.
Day 2: Exploring (Or, More Accurately, Attempting to Explore)
7:00 AM: Breakfast! The "Express" part of Holiday Inn Express means… well, a breakfast bar. Waffles. Cereal (probably the sugary kind). Instant oatmeal. Coffee that tastes suspiciously…hotel-y. I fueled up. For… something.
8:00 AM: The car. I had to rent a car. That's just what happens. Oh the places I'll go! (Or maybe I shouldn't have gone to Modesto? I think that's what Dr. Seuss was trying to tell me.)
9:00 AM: I drove to the… mall. I did it. I braved the Vintage Faire Mall. It was… an experience. Everything from the 80s to… well, now. I did, actually, make some purchases. A new pair of jeans and a very large coffee from an expensive coffee shop.
11:00 AM: The McHenry Mansion. I felt obligated to go after Brenda's insistence. It was a Victorian house. Very pretty. Very… Victorian. I got some photos. I learned some history. I was also very aware of how weird it is to wander around other people's houses.
12:00 PM: Lunch at a sandwich shop. It was… a sandwich. I ate it. Need to keep my strength up for the rest of the trip.
1:00 PM: Decision Fatigue. I'm exhausted. Mentally. Physically. Spiritually. My inner introvert is screaming. I need to go back to the hotel. But I did it. I went somewhere! It counts!
2:00 PM: Back in the room. I’m officially barricaded inside with a “Do Not Disturb” sign. Time for another nap. And more TV. And maybe some online shopping.
6:00 PM: A walk. Just a brisk walk. To a nearby park. I don't even know who I'm trying to impress.
7:00 PM: Another dinner. It's getting a bit… routine. Maybe Agnes will be there again?
8:30 PM: Hotel room. I'm starting to hear the faint echo of my earlier self-doubt bouncing around the room.
9:00 PM: Goodnight.
Day 3: Departure (and Unresolved Issues)
7:00 AM: Breakfast, again. Oatmeal this time. I’m trying to be healthy. I'm also pretty sure I’m the only guest at the hotel who’s taken up residence in the lobby so much.
8:00 AM: Check-out. Brenda! She looked… disappointed. Maybe I didn’t embrace the Modesto experience fully enough? I'm not sure I could embrace it at all, Brenda. Maybe I'm the problem.
8:30 AM: On the road. The California sun. The open highway. The faint, lingering smell of stale coffee from the hotel. I did it. I went somewhere. I survived. Modesto, you were… interesting. (And I'm probably going to have to find a therapist).
10:00 AM: Back home.
Unbelievable Modesto Getaway: FAQ - Because Let's Be Real, You Have Questions... and Maybe a Headache
Okay, so... *Unbelievable*? Really? What's so special about this Holiday Inn Express in Modesto? I'm picturing faded carpets and a questionable breakfast buffet...
Alright, alright, settle down, cynic! "Unbelievable" might be a *slight* exaggeration, but let's just say it's way better than that Motel 6 I stayed in last month (the one with the… well, let's just say I'm still unpacking the *memories*). Look, Modesto isn't exactly Paris, okay? But this place? Surprisingly decent. The beds are comfy, the shower actually works (and has good water pressure, which is a godsend), and the breakfast… okay, the breakfast is your standard hotel fare. Scrambled eggs that taste suspiciously like they came from a carton? Check. Waffles? Check. But hey, they have *fruit*, and that, my friends, is a victory in the hotel breakfast arena. It's the small wins, you know?
Parking? Is parking a nightmare like it is everywhere else on the planet? Tell me the TRUTH. I have a minivan.
Okay, deep breaths. Parking… is *not* a nightmare. I repeat, NOT a nightmare! They have ample parking. Seriously. I saw what looked like a small monster truck convention pulling in one evening (apparently, Modesto loves its trucks), and *everyone* found a spot. You'll be fine with your minivan. Trust me. I'm still traumatized from that time I had to circle a parking garage for forty minutes in San Francisco. This is a *breeze* in comparison. Consider it your first blessing of this whole "vacation" thing.
What about the pool? Is it a sad, chlorine-reeking cesspool of despair, or something more... enjoyable?
The pool… hmm. Okay, look. It’s… a *pool*. It’s clean-ish. I saw some kids splashing around and looking like they were having a grand old time, so it can’t be *that* awful, right? I personally didn't get in (hello, chlorine smell trigger from childhood!), but it looked… inviting enough? Maybe bring your own towel, just in case. And maybe a bottle of hand sanitizer after you're done, because you know, germs. I think it could use a solid dose of fun... like a waterslide. You know, just putting that out there for the management team to consider. My inner five-year-old is demanding it!
Is there a gym? Because, you know, gotta maintain the illusion of health even when I'm scarfing down waffles.
Yes, there *is* a gym. And I… actually used it! (Okay, I *tried* to use it.) It’s small, and the equipment looks like it’s been through a few wars, but hey, it's there. Treadmill, elliptical, some weights. I, being the seasoned athlete I am (cough, cough), managed a whole fifteen minutes on the elliptical before my legs started screaming at me and I retreated to the comfort of my room and Netflix. So, yeah. Gym. Accessible. Use at your own peril, and pace yourself. I learned that the hard way, and let me tell you, feeling sore on vacay is NOT ideal.
The "Suites" part... What does that *actually* mean? I need room to spread out. My suitcase explodes things.
Okay, the "suites" part is actually a selling point! The rooms are *decently* sized. I had more than enough room to (attempt to) organize my suitcase (which, let's be real, is an eternally losing battle). There's a little seating area with a sofa, which is great for collapsing on after a long day of… well, whatever it is you do in Modesto. The layout is nice, it doesn't feel cramped. They even have a mini-fridge, which is crucial for stashing the leftovers from that Mexican place down the street (more on that later!). You should be good when you let your luggage EXPLODE.
What about food? Are there any decent restaurants nearby, or am I doomed to chain restaurants and the hotel vending machine?
Okay, listen up! Food is *crucial*. And while Modesto isn't exactly a culinary mecca, you're not entirely doomed. The hotel is conveniently located near a bunch of places. There’s a Mexican restaurant a short drive away, and let me tell you, their carnitas are LEGIT. Seriously, I ate so many tacos I thought I'd turn into one. Do yourself a favor and go there. Now. And, yes, there are some chain restaurants, too, if you are into that sort of thing. But support local, people! Support the tacos!
Did you run into any problems, like, at all? Because nothing's *ever* perfect...
Oh, the problems. Yes. Okay. Where do I begin? Let's see... One morning, the coffee machine in the lobby was out of order. This was a minor tragedy. A *true* test of my inner peace. I almost had to skip my daily caffeine supply! But I survived. Oh, and there was a faint, persistent *smell* of something… vaguely floral… in the hallway near my room, but honestly, I think it was just the cleaning supplies. The biggest problem? Leaving. I swear, I almost started crying on my way out, despite all my cynicism. I didn't *want* to leave. The bed was so comfy. The fridge was stocked. The tacos were calling my name. Ugh. So, yeah. Minor imperfections. But overall? It was a good stay. A *good* stay. (And that coffee thing was a CRIME against humanity!)
Okay, spill the tea. Would you actually recommend this place? Like, would *you* go back?
Honestly? Yes. I would. I'm not saying it's the most amazing hotel on the planet, but it's clean, comfortable, and reasonably priced. And it has that taco place nearby. And after all, the bar has been set so low that the Holiday Inn Express meets it without any problem. I'm already mentally planning my return trip, which tells you everything you need to know. Don't expect the Ritz, but expect a decent, stress-free stay with access to some pretty good food. Go. Book it. And tell me what you think… just don't leave any taco stains! (And if you do, I want photographic proof.)
