Escape to Jenks: Your Dream Holiday Inn Express Awaits!
Alright, buckle up, because we're about to dive headfirst into an utterly unfiltered review of [Hotel Name]. Prepare for a rollercoaster of opinions, because honestly, I've just spent a week there, and… well, let's just say it was quite the experience. My SEO-savvy brain is screaming "keywords!" but my slightly-overstimulated human brain just wants to tell you about it. So, here we go…
The Basics & Accessibility (And My First Faceplant)
First things first: Accessibility. This is HUGE, folks, especially for someone like me who… well, let’s just say I've perfected the art of tripping over air. They claim to be wheelchair accessible. And yes, there are ramps and lifts. HOWEVER, I'm talking about a real "wheelchair accessible" like, "can actually get to the pool without needing a Sherpa" kind of accessible. I mean, the restaurants are listed as accessible, so I booked a table, and on the way I fell… on my way there. It wasn't pretty. (Luckily, the staff were amazing and scooped me up faster than you can say "oopsie."). Ahem. The point is, while they try, double check. Call ahead, ask specific questions. Don't be like me.
They do have elevators, which means a huge thumbs up. And speaking of thumbs up, free Wi-Fi in all rooms! THANK GOD. (More on that later). Plus, they had stuff like a concierge and a doorman – which is great for the fancy folk, but I mostly just used them for directions to the nearest coffee.
Internet: A Love-Hate Relationship
Listen, I need internet. It's my lifeblood. And the promise of free Wi-Fi in all rooms had me doing a little happy dance. Reality? Well… let's say it was… temperamental. Sometimes lightning fast. Other times, I felt like I was dialing into AOL with a dial-up modem. They do have LAN too… which is cool if you brought your own ethernet cable (which, let's be real, who does?). Wi-Fi in public areas was better, so if you're desperate to upload your latest selfie, head to the lobby.
Things To Do: From Scrubbing to… Well, Scrubbing
Okay, things to do. This is where [Hotel Name] shines. The spa! Oh, the spa. I spent an entire afternoon there. Body scrub? Check. Body wrap? Double check. It was glorious. Utterly, wonderfully, blissfully glorious. I may or may not have even tried to sneak back in after closing. Don't judge me. The sauna was divine, and the steamroom… well, let's just say I emerged looking like a well-steamed dumpling, in the best possible way. And the pool with a view? Stunning. Absolutely, drop-dead stunning. (Although, pro-tip people, don't try to take a selfie while getting out. See earlier faceplant comment.)
Fitness center? Yeah, they have one. I walked past it. Twice. That's about as much exercise as I do on vacation.
Dining, Drinking & Snacking: The Belly Speaks
The food! Whew. Okay, so they have… many restaurants. Many. Asian breakfast (the pho was incredible), Western breakfast (the pancakes were… adequate), restaurants with international cuisine (the pasta carbonara was surprisingly good after a couple of glasses of wine), and a pool bar (essential). They do a buffet breakfast (which is always a gamble, but this one was actually pretty good). Room service [24-hour]? Yes, please! And there was even a snack bar because, you know, emergencies. My stomach thanks them, my waistline… not so much.
They also offer alternative meal arrangements, which is great for picky eaters or those with dietary needs. I am neither, but appreciated the option!
Cleanliness & Safety: Gotta Love Hand Sanitizer
This is where [Hotel Name] REALLY knocked it out of the park. Seriously. They took cleanliness seriously. And in this day and age, thank goodness. Anti-viral cleaning products, daily disinfection, rooms sanitized between stays… the whole shebang. You could practically eat off the floor (though I wouldn't recommend it, even if it looked clean). Hand sanitizer everywhere! Staff trained in safety protocols. Honestly, I felt safer there than in my own apartment. They even had a doctor/nurse on call. Excellent.
Services & Conveniences: The Little Things
Daily housekeeping? Fantastic. Laundry service? Saved my life. Luggage storage? Thank you, sweet baby Jesus. They had a convenience store, a gift shop (I got souvenirs!), and even a cash withdrawal machine. Little things that make a big difference, especially when you're jet-lagged and craving a chocolate bar at 3 am. Contactless check-in/out? Hallelujah! (Less small talk, more sleep!)
For the Kids: Babysitters & More
They're family/child friendly. Kids facilities are available and there is a babysitting service. Just in case.
Rooms: Where I Lived (More or Less)
My room? Was fantastic. Air conditioning, blackout curtains (essential for sleeping off all that delicious food), a mini bar (again, essential), and free bottled water. They even provided bathrobes and slippers! And, the most important thing… Wi-Fi [free]. (Remember the love-hate thing?). My room was non-smoking – always a plus. The whole place looked great.
Getting Around:
Airport transfer available. Car park free of charge. Taxi service. All good.
The Honest Truth (With a Sprinkle of Chaos):
Okay, so [Hotel Name] isn't perfect. Nothing ever is. The internet can be spotty. Some areas might be a smidge less accessible than advertised. BUT – and it's a big BUT – the positives FAR outweigh the negatives. The staff were incredible, the spa was a dream, and the overall experience was wonderfully enjoyable.
My Unfiltered Recommendation & Call to Action (aka The Sales Pitch!)
Seriously, if you're looking for a place that offers a fantastic experience, with top-notch safety and cleanliness, and a spa that will make you forget all your troubles? Book [Hotel Name] RIGHT NOW. Seriously. Don't wait. Click the link. Do it. Your body (and your stress levels) will thank you. Tell them I sent you. (They probably won't care, but I had to try!) You won't regret it. It's a little piece of paradise. And yes, I'd absolutely go back. Faceplant or not. (Though next time, I'm wearing sensible shoes.)
Escape to Paradise: Puri Asri Bungalow, Indonesia Awaits!
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into my whirlwind, wonderfully messy adventure at the Holiday Inn Express & Suites Jenks, because let's be honest, who doesn't love a good IHG property? And this one… well, let's just say it had its moments.
The Jenks Jumble: A Holiday Inn Odyssey
Day 1: Arrival and the Battle of the Breakfast Buffet (aka, Hunger Games: Breakfast Edition)
14:00 - Arrival & Initial Assessment: Okay, so, pulled up to the hotel, Jenks, Oklahoma. Sunny, beautiful. Feeling good, feeling optimistic… until I saw the parking lot. Full. Always a bad sign. But hey, at least the lobby was… clean. Generic, sure, but clean. My first thought was, "This is either the beginning of something amazing, or a long wait for the elevator." Turns out, it was kind of both.
14:30 - Room Check-In & Initial Room Assessment: Hoisted my luggage (a slightly embarrassing amount, I admit) up to my room on the second floor. The elevator was, shall we say, a character. Made a lot of clunky noises, I was convinced it was going to shut you in for the rest of your life. The room itself? Standard. Two queen beds (perfect for spreading out, let's be real), a desk with a chair that looked like it had seen better days, and a TV that promised to be a portal to endless streaming possibilities (spoiler alert: it delivered – after a bit of fiddling…and a few choice words). The view? The parking lot. Sigh. But hey, the air conditioning worked. Small victories, people.
15:30 - Poolside Debacle: Decided to be a productive little tourist. So decided to go into the pool. What a mistake. The pool was a bit crowded and I had already decided I wasn't a fan.
18:00 - Dinner Disaster (Sort Of): Okay, so, hungry. Starving, actually. I headed towards the suggestion for local restaurants. Was hoping for something a little more… local flavor. Nope. Wound up at a chain restaurant. The food was, well, edible. I felt like I had betrayed the spirit of the trip. The service was… enthusiastic, bordering on overeager. Made me slightly uncomfortable. I guess that is just what happens when you try to go off of suggestions.
21:00 - The Bed Test & Netflix Nirvana: I settled into the bed. And it was… surprisingly comfy. Okay, Holiday Inn, you win this round. Pulled up my Netflix. The evening was… perfect.
Day 2: The Breakfast Buffet & The Great Escape
07:00 - The Hunger Games: Breakfast Edition, Round 2: Oh, the breakfast buffet. A glorious, chaotic battleground. The hot food section was a warzone of scrambled eggs that tasted suspiciously like they were made from powder. The coffee was a brown liquid. The waffle maker? A gamble. But hey, free food! I fueled up, endured the chaos.
- Anecdote: There was this kid, maybe six years old, who spent the entire time bouncing a football – inside the breakfast area. It was a delicate dance between me, the waffle iron, and the kid's relentless bouncing. I kid you not. Survived, but I did not get a waffle.
08:00 - The Coffee Crisis: Desperately needed coffee. The hotel coffee, as mentioned, was a crime against coffee. Found a Starbucks down the street. My savior. The smell of fresh coffee was pure heaven.
09:00 - Checking Out: Checked out. The staff was friendly enough. The checkout was quick.
09:30 - Heading out of there: Got in the car. Felt relief. Heading to the next destination.
So, what *is* this whole "me" thing anyway? Like, the actual tangible stuff?
Oh, honey, that's the million-dollar question, isn't it? 'Me' in this glorious, flawed context is, well, *me*. Picture a human being, cobbled together from equal parts sarcasm, questionable life choices, and an unshakeable belief in the power of a really good cup of coffee. And maybe a dash of existential dread, just to keep things interesting. I'm talking about my perspective, opinions, experiences… all that jazz. I'm not a robot, thankfully. I'm *alive*. And sometimes, that’s terrifying. Like, really, truly, keep-you-awake-at-3am terrifying.
Okay, okay, less existentialism, more practical – what are you *good* at? Besides brooding dramatically, I mean.
Good question! (And, ahem, the brooding is a *skill*, thank you very much.) Let's see… I think I'm pretty decent at finding the best chocolate chip cookie recipes. Seriously, I have, like, a binder. A THICK binder. Also, I'm a pro at finding the perfect parking spot, even when I'm late (which is, admittedly, often). And I can usually tell when someone's about to cry, which, honestly, comes in handy more than you'd think. Letting people vent is kind of my thing. I’m also, admittedly, pretty good at making a mountain out of a molehill. It's a gift and a curse.
What’s your biggest pet peeve? And please, don’t say slow walkers.
Ugh, slow walkers. I *knew* you were setting me up for that one. Okay, fine. My REAL pet peeve? People who leave the toilet seat up. Seriously. Do you *enjoy* that? It’s the little things, right? Also, people who talk on their phones in the movie theater. Seriously. It's a special kind of awful. I’m getting angry just thinking about it. See? I'm volatile!
On a lighter note: Favorite food? And, for the love of all that is holy, don't say "chocolate chip cookies."
Alright, alright, no cookies. Though, fresh out of the oven… mmm. Okay, okay! Hmm... Pasta. ALL the pasta. Anything with sauce. I once ate an entire plate of spaghetti *alone*, and I'm not even ashamed. I regret nothing. Actually, I'm regretting not having pasta right now. Maybe I'll make some later...
What’s a life lesson you've learned the hard way? Spill the tea!
Oh boy. Where to begin? Okay, here's a doozy. Trusting first impressions. Ugh. Okay, so, a few years back, there was this guy… let’s call him “Chad.” Chad seemed amazing. Charming, funny, told me all the right things. We hit it off, and I, being the eternally optimistic fool that I am, fell *hard*. Turns out, Chad was a serial… well, let's just say he wasn't as invested as he seemed. The betrayal! The *lies*! The sheer audacity! The lesson? Don't get sucked in by the first shiny thing that comes along. Really, really listen to that little voice in your head that whispers, "Are you *sure*?" It’s usually right. And I definitely wasn't listening at the time.
What’s something you’re currently obsessed with? Other than pasta...
Okay, so, currently? I'm utterly and completely engrossed in… true crime podcasts. I know, I know, it’s morbid, but I can't help myself! I’m fascinated by human nature, you see. The bad stuff as well as the good. And the production quality on some of them… Chef's kiss! I’m also mildly obsessed with my cat. Don't judge me. He's fluffy, he's judgmental, and he keeps my bed warm. What's not to love? *Sigh*
What’s your biggest insecurity? Be honest!
Honestly? That people won’t find me… enough. Not smart enough, not pretty enough, not funny enough. It's a work in progress, let me tell you. I’m getting better, though. Some days. It’s a constant battle with that inner mean girl. But hey, everyone's got baggage, right? It's about learning to carry it with grace, I suppose. (Or at least, a lot of caffeine.)
What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?
This is gonna sound cheesy, but it stuck. My grandmother, bless her soul, used to say, "Don't worry so much about what people think. They're too busy worrying about themselves." It’s ridiculously simple, but it's true. It’s helped me survive a lot of awkward moments (and there have been many). It's also a good reminder to be kinder to myself, you know?
Okay, one last question. Something… silly. What's the weirdest dream you've ever had?
Oh, the *dreams*! Where do I even begin? Okay, so, I once dreamt I was flying… on a giant, sentient baguette. We were soaring through the sky, dodging meteors made of brie cheese, and the baguette kept muttering about “crusty” issues. The whole thing ended with a dramatic crash-landing in a vat of melted chocolate. It was… a lot. I woke up covered in sweat and craving carbs. And feeling utterly bewildered. Dreams are weird, man. Utterly, wonderfully, weird. Okay, I need a nap now.
